These 40 love questions are for couples who want to talk about the life they share. Pick a few about a memory, a daily habit, or something you hope to change. You do not need to finish the list in one sitting.
Download the free 40-question printable. It contains the same questions as this page. For Arthur Aron’s research exercise, use our separate guide to the 36 questions to fall in love.
Choose where to begin
The questions are grouped by occasion. For an ordinary evening, start with the first group. For an anniversary, pick one question from “Your story so far” and one from “An anniversary or a new year.” When life is busy or something has gone wrong, the hard-week group asks what would help without reopening the whole argument.
Some questions assume you have a shared history. If you have only recently met, our questions for a new relationship offer a broader starting point. Neither person owes an answer about family, sex, money, or a painful experience.
Take turns without keeping score
Let one person finish before answering the same question yourself. If an answer surprises you, try “What was that like for you?” rather than explaining why you remember it differently. Two people can recall the same evening differently.
Use a specific memory when an answer feels abstract. “You support me” might become “You stayed on the phone while I waited for the interview.” The detail gives you something you can recognize and repeat.
When an answer becomes a disagreement
You can stop the exercise. A list of questions cannot settle an argument or make a difficult conversation safe. Ask whether your partner wants you to listen, discuss a practical change, or leave the topic for another time.
If you do agree on a change, make it concrete: who will do what, and when? Avoid turning every answer into a promise.
Keep a memory with permission
At the end, ask which story, if any, you both want to keep. Write down the date, place, and a phrase you would otherwise forget. Ask before recording or sharing an answer. Our voice recording guide covers the practical setup.
For a shorter weekly conversation about how things are going, use our questions for couples check-in.