Pick one question before your next call and text it a few hours early, so your partner has time to think. Start with the day-to-day group if things are going well. Go to the trust and hard weeks group when something has been bothering one of you, and save the future group for a visit or a long weekend call.
Fitting questions into calls
Replace “How was your day?” with one question from the list. When time zones leave only a few minutes, trade answers as voice notes instead and talk properly at the weekend.
Some questions, like the one about jealousy, can turn into a hard conversation. If that happens over text, stop and pick a time to talk by voice or video, when you both have time to finish.
Around a visit
The visits group works in both directions: ask about the next visit while you’re planning it, and about the last one on the first call after you’re apart again. Write down what you both say you want from the next one.
For a date over video, try date night questions. For questions that aren’t about the distance, use questions for couples.