These questions are for the part of a party where you’re standing with a drink, next to someone you’ve just met. Start with the first group. “How do you know the host?” works almost every time, because it gives you a person in common. Move to the stories once the talk is going, and use the quick choices to bring a third or fourth person into the circle.
If you’re a guest who knows few people
Ask one question, then ask about the answer. If someone says they know the host from a running club, ask how long they’ve been running, not where they work. One follow-up usually does more than three new questions.
“What do you do?” is fine; it’s what most people expect. If the answer is short, follow it with something about their life outside work, like the best part of their week.
If you’re the host
Introduce people with a detail they can pick up. “This is Maya, she just got back from Portugal” starts a conversation; “This is Maya” doesn’t. Then walk away and let them talk.
Watch for anyone standing alone and bring them into a group with one of the quick choices, such as “rooftop party or beach party?” Everyone can answer it, and nobody is put on the spot.
At a dinner table, one question for the whole table can work better than side conversations. Ask it, answer it yourself first, and go around once.
Questions to leave alone
Skip questions about weight, money, why someone is single or doesn’t have children, and politics with strangers. If someone gives a short answer and looks away, change the subject.
For games rather than conversation, see the party games for adults. For more openers, try the icebreaker questions.