A situationship is easier to enjoy, or to leave, when you know what you’re agreeing to. These questions help you ask where you stand, what each of you wants and what you expect from week to week. The first group is the most direct. If that’s too much for one conversation, start with how it feels and come back to the rest.
Before you ask
Know what you’re hoping to find out, even if your own answer is “I’m not sure yet.” Pick a calm, private moment, not during sex or in the middle of a night out. Text is fine if that’s how you both talk. Be ready for an answer you don’t want; it’s still useful.
How to have the conversation
Say how you feel without accusations: “I like you and I’m confused about where we stand.” Then ask the question you actually need answered, such as whether you’re exclusive or whether they want a relationship. A romantic question won’t answer that indirectly. Listen to the whole answer, and if they tell you they aren’t looking for a relationship, believe them.
Questions to ask yourself afterward
- Do their words and actions match?
- Do I feel more settled or more anxious after we talk?
- Have I asked for clarity more than once without getting it?
- Am I waiting for something they’ve said they don’t want?
- Does this arrangement work for me as it is?
Keep hopes separate from plans
An imagined holiday is not a booking, and a warm memory is not a promise. When an answer matters to your choices, check what it means in practice. You can decide the current arrangement doesn’t work for you without persuading the other person to want something different. If it becomes a relationship, new relationship questions are a good next step. If it ends and you still share friends or plans, questions to ask your ex start with the practical side.