When you reconnect with an old friend, you share a past but not the last few years. Start with a memory that makes you both laugh, then ask what their life looks like now before you spend long on the old days. The questions below go from catching up, to then and now, to how you might stay in touch this time.
Catching up after years apart
Ask about their week, where they live and who they spend time with now. Those answers tell you who they’ve become, and they make the old stories land better when you get to them.
If you drifted apart for a reason, you don’t have to settle it in the first call. The questions in the last group, such as “Is there anything you have wanted to say to me since we drifted apart?”, are better asked once you’ve both relaxed, and only if you’re ready to hear the answer.
A second coffee is a better goal than a complete catch-up.
More questions
- Questions to ask friends for catch-ups and deeper talks
- Deep questions to ask friends once you’re close again
- Best friend questions