Ask for their interpretation
A date or place tells you what happened. A reflective question asks what your parent made of it: which choice felt difficult, what changed their mind, or what they understand differently now. Let them decide how much to explain. Do not use the conversation to check their memory.
Give control over what is kept
Before recording, explain where the recording will live and who might hear it. A parent can tell you something without wanting it in a family book. Mark uncertain dates as uncertain and ask whether they want to review a written version. End while the conversation is still comfortable. You can come back to another question another day.
The full list of questions for elderly parents covers everyday memories, practical questions about care, and tips for memory loss and hearing loss.