Family history research works best from two directions. Relatives can tell you what a place smelled like, who helped and why someone left. Records can tell you when a ship arrived or which court granted citizenship. The 20 questions below are for the first part. The section after them shows how to turn an answer into a specific search of US records.
Before you ask
Gather what you already know: names, rough dates and places from family papers or earlier conversations. Bring something to look at, such as a photograph, a letter, a recipe card or an object from the house. It gives the person a place to start.
Tell the person why you’re asking and who might see what you collect. Ask before recording, and offer to take handwritten notes instead if recording feels uncomfortable. The guide to recording voice notes covers simple setups. For a longer session plan, use the guide to interviewing a relative.
20 family history questions
Pick a few from one group rather than working through all 20. Skip the second group if your family didn’t move.
Home and everyday life
- What did the streets smell like in the neighborhood where you grew up?
- What languages did you hear at the dinner table, on the street or at school?
- Who taught you manners: greetings, gestures, what was funny and what wasn’t?
- Which objects did older relatives guard carefully, and where are they now?
- Which dishes were made for special days, and who made them?
- What work did the adults in the family do, and how did they find it?
- Who in the family handled paperwork, letters or dealings with officials?
If the family moved
- Who welcomed you when you arrived in a new country or city?
- What did the family pack, and what had to be left behind?
- Which songs, prayers or poems came with you?
- How did people send news back home, and how did news arrive from there?
- Which ingredients were hardest to find after the move?
- Which holidays or customs changed once you settled?
- How did you find work, a place to live or other people from home in the first months?
- Did anyone change or shorten their name? Who decided, and why?
- When did you first feel you belonged in the new place?
What the family remembers and keeps
- Which stories were kept private, and why?
- Were there stories adults avoided telling children? What changed that?
- What would you want younger relatives to understand about your life at their age?
- What questions do you still have about our family’s past?
When an answer mentions a place, a person or a date, ask one more question about it: “Where exactly was that?” or “About how old were you?” Those details are what you’ll need for the next step.
Turn an answer into a records search
A story becomes a research question when it has a person, an event, a place and a date range. Here’s a fictional example. Your aunt says her grandfather “came through New York around 1912 and worked in a bakery in Cleveland.” That gives you three questions to check: Is there a passenger list for him arriving in New York between about 1910 and 1914? Did he start naturalization, and in which court? Where was his household in the 1920 census?
Match each lead to the record that might answer it:
| What the relative mentions | Record to check | Where to look | What it can add |
|---|---|---|---|
| Where someone lived in a particular year | Federal census | National Archives, which has schedules from 1790 to 1950 | The household at a known date; 1950 is the latest released, because of a 72-year access rule |
| A birth, marriage or death | Vital records | The state or territorial vital records office; the National Archives doesn’t hold these | An official date and place to compare with the family’s memory |
| Arriving by ship | Passenger arrival lists | National Archives, for arrivals from about 1820 to 1982, with gaps | Ship, date of entry, birthplace, age, occupation, last residence and the relative being joined |
| Becoming a citizen | Naturalization records | The National Archives facility serving the state, if a federal court handled it; state and local court records are usually elsewhere | A declaration of intention and a petition for naturalization |
| Serving in the military | Military service records | National Archives in Washington, D.C. for service up to 1912; the National Personnel Records Center in St. Louis for World War I onward | Service details to set beside the family story |
All of this comes from the National Archives genealogy pages, which explain each record type in more detail. Two cautions from those pages are worth knowing before you start: there’s no central index for naturalization records, so you need to know or guess the court, and passenger lists have gaps.
If a record disagrees with a relative’s account, or two records disagree with each other on a spelling or an age, keep both. Note which source said what instead of picking a winner too early.
Handle sensitive history with care
Family history includes hard things: war, poverty, discrimination, separations, people who were never spoken of. Make it clear before you start that the person can skip any question, stop at any point or ask for something to stay private. Don’t push to finish a story because the record search needs a date.
At the end of a conversation, agree on three things: what can be shared with the wider family, what stays private and who should be asked before a story is reused. For more on this, read sharing difficult family stories.
Keep track of what you learn
After each conversation, write a short note: who took part, the date, where you talked and any sharing limits. Store it with the recording or transcript.
Keep a simple list of leads with three columns: what was said, which record might confirm it and what you’ve checked so far. Add every spelling of a name or place you hear, so you search for all of them. If you scan a photo or document someone mentions, name the file with the year, the person and the subject so it’s easy to find later.
The cultural heritage story workbook has pages for recording traditions, places and recipes alongside these notes. When you’re ready to put what you’ve found into a lasting form, the legacy planning story checklist lists what to gather.